Am I Alone? by Mansi Tyagi

The mix fragrance of marigold and rose was spread all over the bungalow. Beautiful colourful lights were making the night look glorious. So many happy faces dressed up in beautiful attire were laughing, talking and dancing. Sana was dressed up in a beautiful pink lehenga and was standing on the stage with Samar, who was looking handsome in a golden sherwani.

Sana and Samar’s families were very rich and famous in Anandpur city. It was both of their images in the society that they had fixed their wedding 7 years ago when Sana was in her 2nd year of engineering and Samar was in his final year of engineering. Both were aware of this wedding but never had the courage to meet more often because of the family image in a small place. Samar always took care of Sana in those 7 years which Sana was also aware of but none of them had disclosed that feeling of knowing the truth to each other.

Today, Sana was very happy because in these 7 years, she had realised that Samar will be the best husband for her. Everyone was praising their match. “Wah! Bilkul Ram Seeta jaisi jodi hai”.

“Tum dono to best couple lag rahe ho ek sath khade hue” and many such compliments were going through their ears and they both were enjoying all that affection and pampering.

It was 4:00 A.M in the morning. suddenly someone banged on their room door. Sana was in deep sleep and this noise broke her sleep and she got scared of such continuous banging on the door. Suddenly Samar also woke up and without even looking towards her, he went and opened the door. It was Samar’s elder sister Meghna. She came inside the room screaming on Sana, you don’t have sense to get up early in the morning and come out? Is this what your parents have taught you? Sana was completely shocked with this behaviour. She was unable to understand what mistake she did?. She looked towards Samar and he just started looking down without uttering a word. Sana had tears in her eyes as it was 1:30 A.M when she had finally went to sleep after the wedding rituals were over. She said I am sorry and stared at Samar who was still quiet. Meghna asked Sana to take bath and come out of the room in next 10 minutes and she left the room again banging the door in anger. Samar came close to her and said it’s ok, she is our elder, you go and take bath. Sana was like a statue at that moment and she went and did what she was asked to do.

Life started going normally with many such incidents where Samar would always say “it’s ok they are elders”. Sana got a government job, which became another point of argument in the family when they asked her to leave the job. She again looked towards Samar and as usual he said “it’s ok we have enough money; they are our elders, please let’s give them respect”. Again because of her love for Samar, she smiled and gave up on her dream. Samar was taking care of all her basic needs but sometimes Sana felt “Am I alone?” despite of being a part of such a big family? This question came to her mind many times. And finally answer was a “ ? “. Many times she thought of discussing all this with Samar and at that moment Samar just changed the topic every time by saying “They are our family”. One year passed just like this and every time Sana gave up on many things, just for Samar, as she was aware of the fact that how much Samar is attached to his family. It was early Monday morning when Sana felt she is not feeling well. They went to the hospital and the biggest news came for the family. “Sana and Samar are expecting their first child”.

Everyone was very happy and in that happiness Sana completely forget what she had gone through in that 1 year. Nine months of pregnancy were not easy for Sana as she had to do things as per what the elders of the family said. She asked her mom if she can come to their place but, her mom told “Beta itni achi caring family hai tum kyun aise behave kar rahi ho”. She again kept quiet and started waiting for the day when she will hold her baby in her arms. It was evening when she was walking towards her mother in law’s room. She suddenly heard the conversation going on in that room “Dekh lena beta hi hoga, ammi ne use khane main dawai mila kar di thi”, and then another voice of her sister in law uttered “Mummy tension mat lo, pandit ji ne bola hai beta hi hoga”.

Sana was completely shocked. She felt like she will fall down but somehow she managed herself and walked back towards her room. She was waiting for Samar to come so that she can tell him the truth. Many questions were going on in her mind. How Samar will react to all this? Will he believe her? She was just thinking and suddenly she started feeling uncomfortable. She was rushed to the hospital where she gave birth to a beautiful little angel. She looked towards her family’s face where few were happy and as expected few were sad. She started looking for Samar and she was surprised to see Samar’s face shinning and sparkling, eyes full of happiness holding their little daughter in his arms. Sana took a deep breath as Samar’s reaction was important for her as they had never discussed about the gender of the child. It was always like our little baby should be healthy. She thanked God and shared her happiest moments with Samar.

Life was not at all easy for both. Next day morning, the Doctor visited them and told “their baby is not a normal baby. Her brain was not developed properly. Both were completely shocked. Her mother in law and father in law started screaming and at that moment they held the baby and handed her to the Doctor saying “Do whatever you want to do with this baby. We don’t want such a baby and that too a girl in our family”. Sana was shattered. She was looking towards everyone for help, she was crying, and begging to not do this. She gathered the courage and stood up from the bed and took her baby girl from the Doctor and started screaming “This is my daughter, my and Samar’s first child“, no one has the right to decide about her. Her in laws tried to make her understand but she didn’t listen to anyone and finally they told her “If you want to keep this girl with you, leave our house and go away. We will not let you enter our house with this sick baby girl. Sana felt like the whole world was against her. She was unable to stand properly; her legs were shaking and she was losing control over her body. But she didn’t give up at that moment. She again stood up and looked towards Samar who was standing quietly and watching all this. She gave an angry look to her in-laws and walked towards Samar. She looked into his eyes and for the first time she asked him “Samar Am I Alone?” Is this not our baby girl? She waited for 2 minutes for Samar to answer but he kept standing still.

Sana gave a smile to Samar and with a shaking voice just said, “Thank you Samar”.

She held the baby in her arms and started walking towards the room door. No one came to stop her. She was crying and walking and as she was about to step out of the room, she felt someone’s hand on her shoulder and before she could turn, she heard “No Sana, you are not Alone, I am with you. This is our baby”. Sana was unable to give any reaction in that moment. Samar took the baby girl from her and turned towards his family and said “We will take care of our daughter together”. She is my and Sana’s life and he walked outside the room holding the baby in one hand and holding Sana with the other hand.

At that moment Sana had a peaceful smile on her face and tears in her eyes. Her life partner had not left her alone and in that moment, she told to herself “I Am not Alone”. Both smiled towards each other and walked out to start a new life with their princess.

“Problems are a part of life, but when you decide to face them together, life becomes easier and happier.”

“Beta ho Ya Beti, dono hi anmol hain”.